They have said about me:
-silent back turner, coward, lazy
-artistic soul, unsure what he wants
-emotional leech, egoist
-sleepy eyes and hazy head
Who am I? For them different things, for me? I’m just being irrational/rational myself.
Who do I know to be? Only me…no, I’m not imagining scene from Sex and the City and me being “the writer”
Me about myself:
-a hint of a sociopath
-hopeless romantic, almost pathetic
-lack of social intelligence
However, if you need someone to listen to you and make you smile, I am always that person, a buddy…can I even call myself that? Well, “I am fucking this cat, you just hold the legs”
I want to write so much more, to captivate this feeling so I can let it go and let go of the past, stop being stuck in an endless cycle of repetition, I used to say, Im broken, don’t try to fix me…I was just trying to find a purpose for not fitting in, and the reason for not fitting in wasn’t others, it was simply me. I can’t hold on to a friendship, I am grateful for everyone that passed thru my life for long or short, as I am learning and I never will stop, I always say that the time I stop learning is the time I die, when I stop swimming or soaring in the sky, digging a hole into an abyss to take a look to climb back…
Let go of the old, let go of the past, learn from it and move forward, there is no magic wand to create what you want, you have to make it on your own, fight for it, as life never gives up for free.
As I dig dipper into despair, let me savour the taste, the sweet taste of starless sky closed into a blue box with windows hiding behind blinds, I need to wake up and make the best of it, however, it feels so hard to get up, but I do it…I get up, go to work, come back home, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat…like everyone else…we are all special and none of us is…we are just human made of flesh and bone and chemicals in our brain to make us think, feel, want, hurt, feel the love and feel the pain…
People forget how much a hug can heal and how much can a hug hurt…hug your loved ones and tell them how much you love them, not in I love you…have you eaten? Dress up, its cold outside. Sleep a bit more…
We are all broken perfect imperfections of a human mind living our daily lives, some lay low, some soar high… In the end, we are all just us.
Who am I? Just a regular guy, on the first look complicated, in the end, a man of simple desires and small wishes, a unique fool.
What about you?